The Rancher's Fake Fiancée Page 17
“It better not be. If I find out different, you and I are going to have a serious problem.”
“Says the guy who hired his nephew.” Kellen wasn’t going to dictate whom Tyler could date or not date. He also wasn’t going to let anyone believe Hadley hadn’t earned her position in the company by being the most qualified person for the position.
“That’s not the same thing and Eric is more than capable of doing the job.”
“It’s playing favorites and you know I hate that. It’s giving someone special treatment because they are related to you. It’s nepotism, plain and simple.”
“You can accuse me of whatever you want. Regardless of my ties to Eric, I came to you for your approval to hire him. I didn’t offer him the job before you said you were fine with it.”
“I said I messed up. And that I would absorb the cost of that mistake. What more do you want from me?”
“I want a partner who wants to be a partner.”
When they started 2K Marketing, Tyler thought he wanted to be a partner. Today, he wasn’t so sure. Kellen wasn’t the same person he went into business with. He had lost some of his edge and no longer pushed himself to be as creative as Tyler knew he could be. To be fair, Tyler wasn’t the same person Kellen went into business with either.
“I’ll talk to you on Monday when I get back,” he said before hanging up.
Tyler and Hadley’s relationship was not going to go over well. Kellen would assume things that weren’t true. She deserved better than to have her integrity called into question. This was his fault and he had no idea how to make it better.
Maybe she would be okay with keeping their relationship a secret. It might be interesting to go from pretending to be in love, to actually falling in love, to pretending not to be in love. Maybe she’d think that was ironic.
Or maybe she’d be so angry she’d quit her job and him. He had really messed things up.
* * *
HADLEY HATED BEING a liar. And hated even more that she was becoming so adept at it. It made her question everything she believed about herself and her values. If she could lie so easily, what did that say about her moral compass?
Tyler didn’t suspect she had anything to do with chasing off Howard. He’d have no clue when she did the same to the Mendes family on Wednesday. Ethan kept texting her smiley faces and telling her she was awesome. She didn’t feel awesome. She felt deceitful.
If she could get Tyler to admit that he wanted to stay, maybe it would all be worth it. The end would justify the means. He loved and hated this ranch. She needed to get him to dig deeper. To put some demons to rest.
The only way they were going to do that was if he was out there. She ran back to the bedroom to change.
“Go riding with me,” she said, finding him sitting on the porch staring at the gazing pasture.
“You want to go riding? With me?”
“I want you to show me what you would have showed Mr. Yonk. I think you wanted to see it as much as you wanted him to see it.” She held out her hand and pulled him to his feet. He tugged her against him and kissed her until she was breathless.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
“For what?”
“For knowing exactly what I need.”
They walked down to the barn hand in hand. They saddled up a couple of horses and headed out. Tyler told more stories about cattle wrangling as a kid, complete with runaway heifers and troublesome bulls. He showed her the tree where he had almost been killed by that angry moose. And the entrance to the forest where he shared his first kiss with a lucky little girl named Danielle. His demeanor changed as soon as they started to follow the creek to the dilapidated bridge.
Hadley could sense the sadness overtaking him. He got quiet, somber.
“Tell me about them,” she said as the road came into view.
“I don’t like talking about them.”
“I know, but maybe if you do, it won’t hurt so much. Holding things in is what usually causes all the pain.”
“I wouldn’t even know where to start.”
Hadley dismounted her horse. Her heart pounded. She wanted to do something good. To do right by him after a day of lying. “I’m here with you, for you to lean on.”
Tyler slid off his horse. She took him by the hand and they walked side by side with their horses in tow. The water danced over the rocks in the creek bed. The sound of birds chirping in the trees filled the air. The grass was long and green along the natural embankment.
“What was your dad like?” she prompted him.
“He looked a lot like Jon. Tall, skinny. But when I was a kid, I thought he was the most manly guy I knew. He had strong, calloused hands and these deep wrinkles around his eyes when he smiled. He was always clean-shaven. He said Mom didn’t like beards. I thought it was because she didn’t like how they looked, but now I think she probably didn’t like kissing him if he had all that hair around his mouth. They used to kiss all the time. It was so embarrassing that they’d kiss in front of us when I was little.”
“Was he a yeller or did he spank you guys when you got in trouble?”
“Neither. Dad was quiet. Unless he was with his friends and they were playing cards. They used to have these poker games and that was the only time I saw my dad smoke. He’d sit at the table with a cigarette in his mouth and the perfect poker face. My brothers and I used to imitate them with straws as the cigarettes and pennies as poker chips.”
“And your mom, what was she like?”
“An excellent cook. That was one of the big things we missed when she was gone. Big E made us all take turns being in charge of dinner. Jon was the only one who mastered something more impressive than spaghetti noodles and sauce or hot dogs. She used to make these hand pies filled with peaches or apples, sometimes blueberries. She always smelled like cocoa butter. She used to have this lotion that she put on every morning and every night before bed. I remember I took the bottle after she died and put a little bit on my hands every day before I went to school so I could feel like she was still close. I was so sad when the bottle ran empty. I didn’t have the courage to ask Big E if he’d buy me another bottle. Men didn’t put on lotion. Chance cried every night for almost a week after it was gone. He didn’t use it, but he liked that I smelled like her because we slept in the same room and when he closed his eyes, it was like she was there.”
“Your memories are beautiful.”
“Not all of them.”
“Most of them, though. It sounds like they were good people. I’m sorry I won’t get to meet them.”
Tyler fell silent again. They made it to the road. He glanced in the direction of the bridge. “I could introduce you,” he said.
Hadley was surprised that he’d offered. “I’d like that.” She assumed he’d take her over to the water but he turned up the road, heading back to the north part of the ranch. They rode the horses toward the barn and Tyler explained where his parents were laid to rest.
“Up on that hill, behind the house, are their graves. I haven’t been there since their funeral. I don’t know if any of us ever went back up there again.”
Hadley was proud of him for facing down this fear. “Are you sure you want to go now?”
He shook his head no, but took her by the hand and started up the hill. The view from there was breathtaking. The mountains to the west, the plains to the east, the whole Blackwell Ranch to the south. It was like they were up here looking over everyone. There was only one headstone for the two of them. Husband and wife. Father and mother. Son and daughter.
Tyler squeezed Hadley’s hand a little tighter. “Hadley, this is my mom and dad. Mom and Dad, this is Hadley.”
“They must be so proud of the man you have become. Of the men you and your brothers have all become.”
Tyler’s eyes were damp with unshed tears. His chin quivered
ever so slightly.
“I warned them that the water was rising too fast that night. I had been out in the storm. I got caught in it when I was out fooling around on the other side of the creek. We weren’t supposed to go on that side. I never listened, though.”
Tears rolled down his cheeks and he wiped his running nose with the sleeve of his shirt. Hadley stayed quiet, giving him a chance to compose himself.
“When I got to the house, my dad was loading up the pickup. He said one of the wranglers said he’d lost a calf and he thought it had crossed the bridge. I told my dad there was no calf. I had just been there. I would have seen it. He wouldn’t listen to me, though. I ran over to my mom and told her the creek was rising fast, that I had trouble getting across, but she wouldn’t listen either. She told me we’d talk about disobeying her rules later. If it had been Jon that told my dad he didn’t see a calf, he would have listened. He would have agreed to recheck the grazing pasture. If it had been Ben or Ethan or Chance who told my mom the water was rising, who begged her not to go, she would have stayed behind. She would have sent someone else to go with my dad if they had asked.”
“You can’t really believe that. Your parents made their decision based on several factors. They wouldn’t have changed their mind if one of your brothers had said the same thing you did.”
Tyler shook his head, the tears coming nonstop now. “They didn’t care about me. They didn’t listen to me. I was the one who was easy to dismiss. Easy to forget. Easy to ignore. It’s my fault they died that night. If I had been Jon, Ben, Ethan or Chance, they would have listened. They wouldn’t have tried to cross that bridge. They’d be above the ground instead of under it.”
Hadley had no words that would take away this pain. She wrapped her arms around him and held him as tightly as she could. He had been a ten-year-old boy who allowed himself to carry the weight of his family’s world for the next twenty years. No wonder he didn’t want to be here. It wasn’t that he felt guilty for not doing something. He blamed himself for not being something.
How could she begin to make him see himself the way she saw him?
CHAPTER TWENTY
TYLER WOKE UP on Tuesday in the bedroom. He didn’t remember how he even got there. All he knew was that he was alone and alone was the last thing he wanted to be.
His whole body ached and it felt like someone had reached under his skin and smashed his insides. He was raw and exposed. One big bruise, tender and vulnerable.
He shuffled out to the sitting room, where Hadley was wrapped up like a burrito in the buffalo-check comforter that he’d been sleeping under for over a week.
His throat was dry and his cheeks felt crusty. Did he cry himself to sleep? Real manly. He opened the minifridge to get a water bottle. Hadley popped up at the sound of the door closing.
“Ty?”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
She unraveled herself from her blanket and wrapped herself around him like a koala bear. “Are you okay?”
He shrugged. “I don’t even remember coming back and taking over the bed.”
“You were kind of a mess.” She ran her fingertips up and down his arm.
“That’s embarrassing.”
“Don’t say that.”
He wouldn’t say it again, but that didn’t make him feel any different. He couldn’t shut off the emotions because he wanted to. If he could, he would have done that yesterday.
“I’m sorry I got lost in those memories. Once we sell this ranch, I’ll be able to put all that in the past where it belongs.” At least that was his hope. Once this place was gone, he could move on.
Hadley stared up at him. “I wish you wouldn’t run from this. I feel like you’re so close to getting some closure.”
Tyler had plenty of closure. He didn’t need to rehash his parents’ death any more than he had. He was done with that. “I’m good and closed.”
“That’s not what closure means.”
“I’m kidding. I hear what you’re saying and I will take it into consideration.”
“I feel like that’s your way of telling me you don’t want to talk about this anymore.”
“How about we do more cuddling and less talking.”
He pulled her close again and pressed his cheek against the top of her head. All he needed right now was her. She made him feel safe. She was the only one he could trust with all this.
They snuggled on the couch and having her there lulled him right back to sleep. He slept so hard, he didn’t even hear the knocking on the door until Hadley was answering it.
She slipped outside and closed the door behind her. Tyler got anxious and went to the door to see what was going on. He saw shadows through the curtains. She was on the front porch with someone.
“I don’t know if he’ll go for that,” Hadley said.
“I have to try. Don’t I?” Ethan was out there with her. Tyler was about to open the door, but stopped.
“If you think so. But part of me wonders if maybe Jon should do it. Not that he doesn’t love you. He does. But he thinks of Jon like the big, big brother.”
“I can talk to Jon. He would do it.”
What was it that they thought they needed to do exactly? Tyler gripped the doorknob but didn’t turn it yet.
“Are you ready for tomorrow?” Ethan asked.
“Ready as I’m ever going to be. I can’t wait for all this to be over.”
“I don’t blame you. It’s a lot.”
“It’s too much. I can’t do it anymore. Tomorrow is the absolute end of it. Please don’t ask me to do anything else.”
“I won’t. You won’t have to worry about Tyler. I promise you that I am looking out for him.”
“I better go back. He might wake up and wonder where I am.”
Tyler let go of the door and sat back down on the couch before Hadley came inside. He heard her close the door and the sound of her padding across the carpeted sitting room.
“Who was that?” he asked, choosing not to pretend to be oblivious.
“It was Ethan. He wanted to see if we needed any more bath towels. I told him we were good until tomorrow.”
The hair on the back of Tyler’s neck stood on end. Why would she lie to him?
“Did he want anything else?”
“I think we might get together with Jon and Lydia tonight. He’s going to get back to us.”
“Did you tell him what happened yesterday?”
She tensed. He silently begged her not to lie again.
“I told him you were really disappointed about losing the buyer and that it was an emotionally draining day. I didn’t tell him what happened on the hill.”
What happened on the hill. She left out the part about his emotional breakdown? He wasn’t buying it. She was lying again. He felt sick.
What could she not wait to be over? Why was Ethan promising to take care of him? She wouldn’t have to worry about him. This was all too much. His mind began to race with all these thoughts. He tried to decipher their conversation. His heart began to break in two. Had she been talking about this relationship? Did she want out and she didn’t want to hurt him? Did she go to Jon and Ethan so they would pick up the pieces when she told him it was over?
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“I’m fine.” He scratched the back of his head. “I should take a shower. I can’t sleep the day away.”
“Are you sure? No one would hold it against you if you took the day off.”
“I’m sure,” he said, standing up and heading for the bedroom. “I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me. I’m tougher than I look.” He went into the bathroom and closed the door. He stared at himself in the mirror and saw why she was worried. Dark circles emphasized bloodshot eyes. His hair was a mess. The salt from his tears left white tracks down his cheeks.
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She was such a good liar. He’d said it the whole time they were here. The fear that none of it was real overwhelmed him. She didn’t want to break him. She promised not to break his heart. Would she keep her promise, or did she simply ask his brother to help him through it?
* * *
WORRY WAS HADLEY’S constant companion today. Tyler had been acting weird ever since he got out of the shower. Distant. Guarded. He must have felt bad about breaking down yesterday. She didn’t want him to regret letting her in. At the same time, she felt woefully unprepared to help.
He’d been inconsolable last night. It was so scary that she had texted Ethan when Tyler finally fell asleep, so someone else knew what was going on. The last thing she wanted was to become so close and then lose him to his guilt.
“I’ll go see if Katie needs a hand. I want to make sure things are ready for the Mendes visit tomorrow,” Tyler said, grabbing his hat off the table.
Hadley closed her laptop. “Let me change my shoes and I’ll come with you.”
“No, you don’t have to.”
“I want to.”
“I don’t need a babysitter—I’m fine.”
“I wasn’t coming to babysit. I was coming because I’d rather be with you fixing things than sitting here alone.”
“Well, maybe I need a little space.” He didn’t bother to wait for her reply. He slipped out the door and was gone.
She texted Ethan to abort any attempts at a heart-to-heart chat today if they ran into each other.
After tomorrow, she would finally be done with double agent duties. Selling the ranch would take a back seat to convincing Tyler she was in love with him. Her plan was simple. She was going to offer to stay in Falcon Creek with him. It would be his choice, but she wanted him to know it was an option that he might not have considered because he thought all she cared about was being a brand strategist for 2K.
The job wasn’t her goal anymore. Her new goal was to love Tyler until her dying breath. She would be willing to do that anywhere. Even here. Yesterday, it became crystal clear that he never hated the ranch. He didn’t hate Falcon Creek. He loved this ranch. Every square inch of it. Tyler hated himself. He hated himself because he thought he wasn’t enough for people.